Fake eyeglasses have become quite a fashion trend over the years but let this be known that mine are actually real, lens prescribed and Tom Ford–I'm blind as a bat without my glasses or contact lenses.

Most people like myself who actually have vision problems think that eye glasses are the most annoying-get-in-your-way thing ever! Ergo, having contact lenses instead, but even that is a major bitch with its constant maintenance.

Remember as a kid when your mother used to warn you not to make constant silly faces because your face will end up staying like that? Yes well, being the giant prick that I am, I would tell people who constantly wore fake eyeglasses the same thing and that their vision will soon go bad if they continued to wear them. Mhmm.

I'm not a bitch. I'm just honest.

I've been a real naughty boy this year so I don't expect anything from Santa, so thats why I'm relying on "daddy" instead to spoil me with all the material needs my heart desires this Christmas.

You all can try to sound all modest as much as you want, saying that you don't wish for a lot on Christmas, but nothing says I love you like some ultra fine cashmere or a luxurious leather designer handbag… but then again, I'm just a selfish material whore who prefers Prada over love.

'tis the season to be spoiled.



1) CELINE luggage tote. $2,300
2) TOM FORD private blend 'Neroli Portofino' Eau de Parfum - 50ml. $250
3) BOSCH Tassimo single server coffee maker - TA6515UC - $250
4) YVES SAINT LAURENT Arty oval ring w/ black stone. $250
5) RICK OWENS high top side pocket cowhide sneakers. $1,321
6) BURBERRY mega check cashmere scarf. $675
7) NIKON J1 10.1MP interchangeable lens camera w/ 10-30mm VR lens. $650
8) ALEXANDER WANG Prisma giant black lambskin clutch w/ rhodium hardware. $425
9) APPLE iPad 2. $499