TRAGEDY of the Day: @ The Canada Line Launch Party

By The Starving Stylist on 6/29/2009

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No foul words could express how I feel about this look and I am sorry that I literally couldn’t even post the top half of her disastrous outfit because it’s so TRAGIC it basically deserves another blog entry of its own. But hey at least the length of these ill-fitting jeans are acceptable.




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A Campy Camper

By The Starving Stylist on 6/25/2009

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For the 3rd time in the past 2 weeks, I was invited to three separate camping trips that are set to happen this summer and my response to all three of those invites . . . “There better be fucking room service!”

Sure, call me a prissy little bitch but I appreciate my running water and flushing toilets, so why on earth would I trade that in for a bunch of leaves and a bucket for the weekend? I can handle a day getting down and gritty with nature and getting dirt on my Prada but when the sun sets, I want to be wrapped in my chenille bath robe, finely moisturized and comfortably tucked in my 500 thread-counted sateen sheeted bed while enjoying a glass of sparkling prosecco.

So hopefully, the next time I’m invited on a camping trip, it’s actually a trip to an all inclusive resort with a spa because that’s how I define a recreational good time! But if all else fails and I end up in the middle of the forest in a tent and with no reception on my BlackBerry (Lord Please save me). . .well at least I’ll look pretty fucking fabulous with ‘summer camp’ outfit inspirations from DSQUARED MEN’S READY-TO-WEAR SPRING 2010 COLLECTION.




Summer camp never looked so chic.


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Everything I Hate In Fashion Inside a Flexi-glass Box.

By The Starving Stylist on 6/21/2009

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Whoever is the visual merchandiser that created this “Douchebag & Douchebaguette goes to the beach” window display should be shot.

Tattoo polluted printed tees, Velour track pants, TACKY PVC metallic tote and just plain bad accessorizing . . . The only pitiful thing missing inside this box is a pair of Crocs, but then again, you could just walk a few stores down and purchase a pair of repulsive at the Crocs store that’s soon to be open right in downtown Vancouver's Robson Street. *gag*


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OMFG. JIMMY CHOO FOR H&M!

By The Starving Stylist on 6/17/2009

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Okay, sooooo I almost about DIED this morning with excitement when I woke up and LITERALLY fell out of bed after reading this headline on my BlackBerry. Jimmy Choo to collaborate with H&M? . . . Ohhhh Uncle Karl, you have blissfully put mercy on me!

FML! I get orgasms already when I hear those two brand's placed in the same sentence! I'm not ashamed to say that I like my high end designer at low prices because 'sometimes' I need to eat too, like actually put something in my mouth, chew and shallow kind of eat! I just can't put all my money into my 'BIRKIN BAG FUND' ya know? Anyways, and the fact that they're going to include a men’s collection of bags, shoes and accessories. . . Expect this StarvingStylist to set a camp A FORT outside H&M when this collection is launched this November! This is going to be a BLOODY WAR ZONE with stilettos and hair weaves flying everywhere!


http://www.drapersonline.com/news/multiples/jimmy-choo-to-collaborate-with-hm/5003600.article?referrer=RSS




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Conversation of the day: @ Work with a Customer

By The Starving Stylist on 6/16/2009

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Customer
: I like these jeans. I want this in a 30 inseam.

Me
: Sorry these jeans only come in one standard sized inseam of 35 inches. But we have a professional tailor who can shorten them quickly with no problem.

Customer: NO. It’s too long. I don’t want it. I WANT a 30 inseam.
Me: We have more jeans on the side, please feel free to have a look.


WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID. . .


Customer: I like these jeans. I want this in a 30 inseam.
StarvingStylist: Sorry these jeans only come in one standard sized inseam of 35 inches. But we have a professional tailor who can shorten them quickly with no problem.
Customer: NO. It’s too long. I don’t want it. I WANT a 30 inseam.
StarvingStylist: . . . Well in that case, BURBERRY KIDS is upstairs on the top floor. You’ll probably have better luck finding something there that’s made for a 10 year old to fit your 38 year-old midget sized body. And hunnie, NO ONE ever gets what they WANT, because if I did, I wouldn’t WANT to be here helping idiotic customers like YOU with a brain of 10 year old!



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Current Obsession: Double Snake Boucheron Ring

By The Starving Stylist on 6/11/2009

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My best friend and I recently bought matching double finger rings together [cue lame awe sounds here] to dedicate our SINGLE statuses. The rings we bought were completely inexpensive as they were made from some cheap industrial polished metal that’s already turning our fingers green after only a few wears and it definitely DID NOT look like anything remotely as stunning as that 18 karat double snake Boucheron ring, but it was a fun novelty to help satisfy our never-ending boredom.

BUT, OHHHH MY LORDY! What would I do to be a proud owner of the Boucheron ring?! . . . I would cut off my pinkie for that ring only because it’s so retardedly gorgeous that no one would even notice my four-fingered hand if I wore it!

Aiyah! As much as I would love to whip out my credit card and burn another hole into my pile of debts, I couldn’t possibly buy a piece of fine jewellery for myself. But I will say that my birthday is exactly ONE MONTH from now and as Ms. Sasha Fierce would preach, “If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it.


Amen.


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Birds of a Feather Flock Together

By The Starving Stylist on 6/08/2009

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When a small handful of your label whore friends unite, your kitchen table literally becomes a designer flea market.




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When Fashion Hits Rock Bottom . . .

By The Starving Stylist on 6/06/2009

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My worst fashion nightmare has come alive. . . Crocs, the awfully REPULSIVE and absolutely disgusting plastic slip-ons have invaded Vancouver and is now opening its first store, of most likely many, right in the heart of downtown’s shopping district of Robson Street. It took every ounce of me to continue walking, instead of smashing the empty store front and spray painting “NASSSSSSSTY” in florescent fuchsia on the bare walls. Agurckkkkkk!

So, suffocate me with a garbage bag because there is NO GOD and if there were, he has no fashion sense.



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A Starving Fashion Don’t.

By The Starving Stylist on 6/04/2009

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I’m finally working again at the ever-so-fabulous Leone Boutique, which actually means I’m back at servicing the unfashionable and hopeless causes of the city. But don’t get me wrong, 90 percent of these clients have more discretionary income that I can possibly dream of or even whore myself out for. It’s just half of these people are clueless and can’t even put an outfit together to save their dignity or . . . even life!




My first day back at work and already I witness something completely shameful and appalling, which was the paring of a velour Juicy Couture tracksuit and high heeled shoes, Gucci half horsebit 'clog' slides to be exact. O.M.F.G. I wanted to clog her in the face with her clogs! I’ve witness this in the past, but never in broad daylight! These girls have literally taken sports wear and dressed WHORED it up!

I’m so disgusted right now that I’m practically speechless and is now incoherent because no words could express the hate I have for girls who sport tracksuits or should I call them “I’m feeling FAT-suit” with high heels. This is a crime just as bad as wearing white tube socks and sandals, it’s just something you don’t do and you should just be SHOT in face just for thinking of doing such filth.

So keep the damn high heels away from the leisurewear and tracksuits, actually just keep away from leisurewear and tracksuits in general! They are meant for the home, doing errands, running to 7-11 for a nicotine fix and especially the gym. I don’t care if for you’re having a fat day and want to be comfortable in public. If I was having a fat day, I would be locked up in my room right now, embarrassingly hiding from everyone until I felt like a skinny bitch again. I know that no one has that mentality like me to do such thing but some of you might want to consider the idea that dressing up and looking good will not necessarily make you a skinny bitch, but at least it will make you feel better and confident about yourself. Jeeeeeeeezus!





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